Setting Things Right
by Gottaluvit
Summary: AU, 'what if ' story set after Ollie and Dinah moved to Seattle-so 'Longbow Hunters' era, but ignoring canon because none of that happens in this. Instead it branches off and mingles with 'The Cheshire Incident' *Death Fic* so be warned.
1. Chapter 1

The night had been pefection and Ollie couldn't help grinning as he rattled the keys in the door to the home he shared with Dinah. The move to Seattle had been meant a fresh start for them both--an attempt to but the past behind them and focus on the future. It had done just that and they both felt more at peace then they had in a very long time.

The archer pushed the door open and stood to one side. Gallantly taking a small bow as he waved the woman he loved into the living room. "Beautiful ladies before crazy old men." He said with as straight a face as he could muster.

Dinah laughed as she swept past him, "_Old _men have usually learned to behave appropriately by your age. Maybe it was the _crazy' _part that had you behaving so cheekily tonight."

"Crazy for you Pretty Bird…" Ollie kicked the door shut and pulled a giggling Dinah into his arms.

"You're so corny!"

"Corny?! Corny? I think you meant to say 'wonderful' or 'sexy' or maybe even 'awsome'.' Ollie chuckled. Throughout their entire date he hadn't been able to keep his mind from drifting to the promise of things to come and he'd hardly been able to wait to get his 'Pretty Bird' home alone. He blamed the dress she was wearing; it was new--elegant and sensual. The azure color brought out the blue in her eyes--eyes that had sparkled with happiness all night. From the moment they had left the restaurant he had been eager to get her out of the dress.

The kiss was deep and promising and Dinah felt herself melt into it, sagging against his taunt chest as her hands went around his neck to anchor herself to him. They were both breathless when they parted but his grin and the sparkle in his eye promised so much more to come as he dropped his head to her neck and begin an assault on her senses…

**Knock...knock**

Dinah gasped as she felt Ollie's teeth against her collar bone sending rivulets of pleasure flooding through her body…..

**Knock**…**knock**…**knock**

Ollie reached for the clasp at the back of her dress, oblivious to the tensing of her muscles that indicated she wasn't quite with him at that moment.

"Ollie…."

**Knock**…**knock**…**KNOCK**

He found the clasp and began to fumble with it, still whispering kisses across her shoulders….

"Ollie wait…"

He began to slide the zipper down, almost groaning at the sensations brought on by the mere thought of revealing her beautiful body…

**KNOCK…KNOCK…KNOCK…**

"OLLIE!"

"_OMPF!"_ the archer's breath was knocked from his lungs by a sudden blow to the stomach.

"Someone's at the door." Dinah said, fixing her dress and patting her hair down.

"Ignore them. They'll give up and go away." There was a childish whine in the archer's voice, but the lustful fire in his green eyes began to fade as Dinah headed towards the door.

"It's late. It must be important if someone is knocking at this time of the night."

Ollie sighed, "Pro'lly just got the wrong door is all." he grumbled, looking very much like a petulant child.

Dinah ignored him and opened the door, finding herself facing a young Hispanic man. The young man stared quietly for a moment, his dark eyes masking emotions Dinah couldn't quite make out. "Can I help you?"

"Um.." The man swallowed--looking nervous. "I'm looking for Oliver Queen." He studied Dinah for a moment a faint spark of recognition flickering in his eyes. "You're Dinah aren't you? Dinah Lance?" he asked--unsure.

Dinah tensed, she had no idea who this young man was, let alone how he knew who _she_ was…

Noticing the tense body language, the young man moved quickly to clarify who he was, "I'm sorry; I should have introduced myself first. I'm Martin…Martin Santosa, a friend of Roy's."

"Roy's?…" Ollie appeared in the doorway, the sound of his former wards name pulling him from his sulk. "Is the kid here? Haven't seen or heard from him in months." he asked hopefully, glancing past the young man looking for his son'

"No...no, he's not here. "There was a small uncomfortable silence before Martin spoke again, "Mr Queen, Miss Lance--do you mind if I come in?"

Dinah watched the young man suspiciously, he seemed nervous, edgy--extremely uneasy. He could be telling the truth, or he might well be someone who had darker reasons to track them down and turn up on their door step like this, "Roy's friend?"

The young man heard the undertone of suspicion in her voice, "Um, yeah…Checkmate," He said pulling the lapel of his leather jacket aside to reveal a distinctive logo on the chest of the uniform he was wearing underneath.

Dinah's suspicion turned instantly to worry, Checkmate didn't send operatives to your door without good reason. The fact that Martin Santosa was standing here announcing himself a friend of Roy's, thereby revealing both of their connections with the highly secretive organization, meant there was something seriously wrong here. A dozen questions sprang into her mind--but it was Ollie who spoke next.

"Yes. I think you had better step inside." He said, his voice suddenly darkening with the same sense of foreboding that Dinah was feeling.

Once inside Martin declined the offer to sit down, feeling the need to relay the news he had to share as quickly as possible. His dark eyes shone with pain as he spoke, "I haven't come with good news, I think you've guessed that…."

Dinah had guessed--and now a flurry of fear driven questions began to flow, "Where is he? What's happened? He's okay isn't he? Why…."

Martin raised a hand cutting her off with a gesture--he was very aware that time was short, some questions would need to wait until later, right now he could only discuss the most important facts, "We were on a mission and it went wrong. A lot of people got hurt and some died--it would have been worse if Roy hadn't gone back in." Martin shifted his feet and glanced away uncomfortably, swallowing at the lump of emotion that formed in his throat, "He was injured…badly. That's why I tracked you down. We need to move quickly if you want to see him before….before…"

Ollies face darkened with concern, "What are you saying?"

"It's bad, really bad. They…the doctors--they don't expect…" Martin's voice dropped until it was barely above a distressed whisper. "They're doubtful he will survive until morning."

TBC-


	2. Chapter 2

It seemed to take forever for them to make their way past the security checkpoints towards the hospital which specially catered to Checkmate and similar agencies. It was a small and quiet facility but Ollie knew it was equipped with state-of-the-art medical equipment and some of the best doctors in the States--or at least that was what Martin had told him on the way.

Starke white walls and the standard hospital smell of alcohol and disinfectant assailed Ollie's senses as he and Dinah followed Martin into a small private waiting room where the young man instructed them to wait for him while he set off to fetch one of the doctors that were taking care of Roy.

Dinah tried hard to swallow back the fear that had formed a lump in her throat, but Ollie's relentless pacing was making her attempts to stay calm very difficult. The archer was agitatedly walking back and forth, pausing only to occasionally peer out of the doorway and down the corridor to see if some one was coming. The five minutes they had been there was beginning to feel more like five hours, and with each passing second the tension in the room increased, until finally, Ollie paused in his pacing and broke the painful silence with the beginnings of an angry, fear driven tirade.

"I can't believe this! What the hell was Checkmate doing? I thought these guys were supposed to professionals…."

"Ollie, they _are _professionals. The way Martin described what happened--it couldn't be helped, not unless Roy had turned his back on those people he…."

"He shouldn't have been there in the first place, dammit! He's little more than a kid for crying out loud!." the archer ran a hand roughly through his hair and spun to look out the doorway once more, still venting as he did so, "Damn! I taught him better then this, I taught him to be more careful…"

"Wait just a darn minute Ol…"

"I should'a _never _agreed to take him in when Brave Bow asked. Just look how much that one stupid decision stuffed up his life. This would never have happened if I hadnt…."

"Ollie…"

"Where the hell are they _damnit_?!" The archer stomped angrily out of the doorway. "Maybe I should just go looking for him…."

"_No_!" The tone Dinah used was enough to finally catch Ollies attention, causing him to stop in his tracks and look back. "That's _enough_. You aren't doing anyone any good behaving like this. This isn't anyone's fault, not Checkmate, not Roy's and not your's. Stuff happens Ollie, it's bad, it's horrible--but it's a fact that we can't predict these things." She moved to reach for his hand, her voice softening slightly as she tugged him back into the room. "Come and sit, Martin will be back soon. If you go wandering off….." The sound of two sets of footsteps approaching caught their attention and cut into Dinahs attempt to calm the archer.

"Thank god!" Ollie stepped aside to allow Martin and the doctor he was with to enter the room.

"Ollie. This is Dr Brian Weldon. Dr Weldon, Oliver Queen and Dinah Lance." Martin introduced.

The fair haired, middle aged doctor nodded and extended his hand, "Mr Queen…" his greeting was quickly interrupted by a stream of questions from Ollie.

"How is he? Can I see him? Is he…"

Martin stepped forward, the knowledge that time was of the essence pushing him to cut off Ollies words, "Oliver is…was Roy's…"

"Roy is my son." Ollie stated, then felt himself driven to explain more, "He was my ward but I consider him..."

"I understand." Dr Weldon nodded, indicating the chairs that sat along the rear wall of the waiting room. "Please take a seat Mr Queen and I'll endeavour to explain your son's condition to you both."

Ollie shook his head and made an agitated dismissive gesture with his hand. "I can't sit, darn it!." he flinched at the way his voice had raised in frustration and worry, then took a deep breath and deliberately forced himself to speak calmly. "How…how bad?"

"Roy is a very ill young man I'm afraid. I'd like to be able to tell you that in the few hours since Martin here left to find you, things have improved, but unfortunately that's not the case…"

"But he's going to be okay isn't he? That's what your telling us isn't it? That its bad, but he's holding in there, and…." the touch of Dinah's hand on his arm made him pause. He closed his eyes briefly, reaching up to take Dinah's hand in his in a subconscious move to draw on her strength before focusing on the doctors face, "You…you're not telling me that are you?"

"No Oliver, I'm not." Doctor Weldon replied softly, signaling Ollie once more to take a seat. This time the archer complied--pausing only a brief moment before allowing Dinah to guide him down into a seat beside her. The doctor pulled another chair over and sat facing the couple. Aware that Martin had stepped outside the room to give Ollie and Dinah privacy he began to explain what he needed to, "Roy has a number of injuries, the worst of which is a head injury that's extremely serious. When he was first brought in he was somewhat lucid…."

"He…he was awake?" Dinah asked, a dash of hope creeping into her voice. If Roy had been awake when he arrived then he stood a good chance of recovery--didn't he?

"He was _semi_-aware--slipping in and out of consciousness and able to respond to some verbal prompts…" Doctor Weldon sighed deeply, there were few jobs he hated more then having to break news like this to the family and friends of his seriously ill patients. "That was when he first arrived here. Unfortunately he quickly deteriated despite all our efforts to stabilize his condition. He has considerable swelling of the brain and weve been fighting to reduce that. Weve performed a procedure to remove a section of skull to allow outward brain swelling and we've placed Roy in an induced coma, but so far the intracranial pressure has continued to climb despite our best efforts." he was silent for a moment, watching as his words slowly sank through the haze of shock that shrouded the couple before continuing in a quiet, concerned voice, "I'm sorry, I'd like to be able to give you both some positive news but the situation your son is facing is extremely grave. There will without doubt already be damage to his brain that is almost certainly irreversible. If the pressure continues to increase there is a very strong likelihood that Roy _isn't _going to recover…."

"No!" Ollie snapped, jumping to his feet suddenly as the words finally registered through the shock. "Look, I know its bad, but hes a fighter. That kid is _strong_, stronger then even I realized. He's fought some tough battles in his life and…" his voice faltered as Dinah reached for him again, her own hand trembling as she took his, "T...tell em Dinah? He's _strong_." Ollie turned to look at her with pleading eyes--the anger that had helped keep him strong earlier having dissipated, chased away by a sickening feeling of dread that now gripped him.

"He is strong. Very strong--many men would not have survived this long." the doctor agreed quietly.

"Can I see him?" Ollie asked, swallowing hard past the lump in his throat.

"Both of us?" Dinah added quietly, squeezing Ollie's hand firmly and biting back the tears that were stinging her eyes. She wouldn't cry--_couldn't_, not yet. Ollie needed her to be strong--_Roy _needed her.

"Of course. You'll need to be prepared for what you're about to see though…."

Ollie listened blankly as the doctor began to describe what to expect when he saw Roy. Very few of the words registered in his dazed mind, all he could think about was getting to his son and seeing him with his own eyes, feeling as if being by the young mans side would somehow make things suddenly get better. He was distantly aware of Dinah clinging to his arm asking the doctor questions that he probably should be asking himself--questions that he couldn't even hear the answers to over the roaring in his head and the panic driven pounding of his heart.

Ollie felt frozen in spot as he stared at Roy's bruised, swollen face. The young man's head was swathed in bandages and around the bed machines and monitors beeped and purred as they worked to record vital signs and keep his boy alive. Tubes seemed to be coming out from everywhere and, in the background the repetitive whoosh of the ventilator could be heard. At the foot of the bed a young ICU nurse--who introduced herself as Jen', sat observing and recording the readings from various machines.

Ollie knew the explosion Roy had been caught in had caused even more damage to his son then was visible and he felt sick to think just how bad things really were. A multitude of cuts and bruises mottled the young mans face and torso--Ollie winced as he looked closer and noticed the small burns on his sons chest--he recognized the marks instantly and they only reinforced the cold fear that had settled over him--they'd already lost his son and brought him back again, the marks were distinctively caused from shock treatments used to restart his heart.

The archer let out a deep shuddering breath. He wanted to go to his son, wanted to tell him everything was going to be okay. Instead he found he couldn't move, all he could do was watch in numb silence as Dinah took his place, as always, there when he wasn't--when he failed.

"Boy-o. It's Dinah." Her voice broke a little as she took Roy's hand in one of hers. "I'm not sure you can hear me, but I'm here with you sweetheart. So is Ollie. We're both here for you." She brushed the back of her fingers gently over the young mans cheek, avoiding the worst of the bruised areas. "Doctor says you have to fight, red…" a stifled sob forced her to grow quiet for a second, breathing deeply until she regained control. "This is a tough one boy-o but I know you can beat it. I know _you_…We're going to be here all the time. We're sticking close by…" she looked up with red rimmed eyes and focused on Ollie for a moment. One look at his face and she could see the fear he was fighting. She held out her hand and beckoned him closer. After a moments hesitation he stepped forward to take the hand she offered. "Ollie's right here with me Roy…"

A reassuring squeeze from Dinahs hand finally broke through the numbness enveloping the older archer. "Yeah, I'm here son. Right beside you. Like Dinah said. " He stepped forward as Dinah moved back a little to allow him to come closer, and gingerly placed a hand on the redheads shoulder. "The doc says you have a battle on your hands here kiddo--but I told him you're up for it. Told him you're a fighter." he grew silent, watching the young mans still form for a long moment before turning to look towards the nurse. "Do you think he can….I mean if he's in a coma like the doc says…."

Jen smiled, understanding exactly what Ollie was trying to ask. "Some people are able to hear when theyre in a coma, but their circumstances usually differ greatly to Roys. Considering his injuries and the medication he's been given, it's doubtful he can. But Id like to think that he can sense you are there. Even if he cant understand what youre saying at least he might be calmed by the sound of a familiar voice" The young nurse said, offering and apologetic smile.

"I don't know if he can hear us or not Ollie, but _if _he can I want him to know we're here for him." Dinah said softly--moving around the bed so she was standing on the opposite side to Ollie and laying her hand on Roy's arm.

Ollie nodded hesitantly and turned back to study his Roy's pale face for a moment, before beginning to speak in a low conversational voice that seemed to carry far more strength then he actually felt inside. "These doctors kiddo, they don't know you the way I do, they don't know how freaking tough you are. You're gonna show 'em son. You're going to let them know exactly how damn strong you are. This isn't going to beat you kid." He looked away, studying the monitors displaying the readings of his sons vital signs--staring at the screen but not really seeing it at all. He closed his eyes as memories of smiling green eyes and the joyful laughter of a young boy dressed in red filled his mind--memories of better times for both of them, a time he had let slip through his fingers without ever realizing how important it was to him--how important his _son _was to him.

He'd failed this young man so completely--never let him know just how grateful he was to have had the chance to know him. Even after all the regrets he had for contributing to the bad that had happened in their past he still had never been man enough to tell his son just how he felt. He swallowed hard and looked back at the pale, bruised face that was so deathly still, some desperate force inside of him urging him to speak those thoughts out loud. He gently squeezed his sons shoulder, "You know kiddo, I never…I never did tell you how damn….."

Suddenly the young mans body jerked under the older archers touch, then stiffened and trembled as alarms began to sound, the shrill ringing sending Ollie's own heart racing. There was only enough time to catch Dinah's eyes--wide and fear filled just like he felt--before he was pushed to one side by the nurse, who was quickly joined buy a number of medical staff all rushing to the redhead's now violently spamming body.

"Whats-- Now wait a damn minute!" Ollie spat as he was unceremoniously shoved towards the end of the bed by a large male nurse, quickly hustling him towards Dinah who had retreated to stand a little distance away from the end of the bed to give the staff room to work.

"I'm going to have to ask you both to wait outside." The nurse stated, pushing them both to the doorway.

"The hell you are!" Ollie began, automatically pushing his way back towards his son.

"_Please_ wait outside--we need room to work…" The nurse cut in, his voice rising firmly to be heard above the cacophony of alarms and instructions being shouted by the doctors.

"Look, bub, you've got two choices:" Ollie warned, standing nose to nose with the nurse. "You can continue to _think_ that you can stand between me and my son, or you can get the hell outta my way before I beat you down so hard and so fast that you'll be lying in a bed of your own!"

Dinah sighed as the stand off between the two men continued, knowing if she didn't step in, and soon… Ollie'd make good on his promise, "Ollie come on…Ollie…" Dinah called, her entire body shaking with shock as she reached for the archer and began to tug him outside.

"No. I…" Ollie began, his heart pounding in his chest as he tried desperately to see his son through the crowd of medical staff working over him frantically.

"I know…"

"But I never got a chance…"

"He knows…" Dinah choked out, while pulling Ollie into her arms, "…he knows."

Ollie's frame stiffened for a moment before leaning into her embrace, allowing her to turn him from Roy's bedside as they both stumbled out into the corridor wide eyed and terrified. Even through the door the nurse had closed behind them the alarms could still be heard, taunting them--leaving them feeling overwhelmed with cold, numbing helplessness.

To be continued…


	3. Chapter 3

Ollie stretched his legs out in front of him and winced as his stiff back protested against the movement. The chairs in the hospital waiting room were not the most comfortable place to attempt to get some sleep.

Not that sleep was coming easily, at least not to him. Dinah had managed to drop into an exhausted sleep twenty minutes earlier, curled up on the chair next to him with her head resting on his lap. He continued to gently run his hand through her dark locks, finding the feel of the silky strands slipping through his fingers somehow therapeutic--easing the stress that he was feeling at least a little.

They'd been allowed back in to see Roy after the doctors had managed to gain control the violent seizures that had gripped the young man so suddenly. But they had been ushered out after an hour to allow an assortment of medical staff to conduct more tests...that was almost two hours earlier and Ollie had to admit his patience was beginning to grow thin.

Dinah had managed to talk Martin into going home with the reassurance they would call him if they needed him….

Soft footsteps approaching the room pulled Ollie from his thoughts. A slight shift in the tension of his body was enough to alert Dinah who jolted instantly awake and pushed herself into a sitting position just as the doctor entered the room.

Dinah found herself staring intensely at the doctors face, desperately trying to read his expression as he pulled a chair around to face them both--instantly noticing the doctor looked tired, drawn and he didn't meet her eyes with his. Something deep inside told her she didn't want to hear what he was about to tell them– a deep-seated sense of foreboding that gripped her as the doctor began to speak, his words echoing in her mind, as if she was hearing them from the bottom of some deep, dark tunnel.

_"…results not positive…all tests come to the same conclusions…"_

She found herself beginning to tremble inside, a heavy lump forming inside her chest, she heard Ollie gasp--felt his entire body stiffen as the doctor finished detailing the tests they had conducted.

_"...indicate there is no brain activity…"_

_"_No!" The softly spoken exclamation was involuntarily dragged from her as she stared helplessly at the doctor, then managed to turn slowly to look at Ollie.

The archer stared in speechless disbelief. His mind was reeling at the news he had just been given-- words mixed together into a confusing jumble that refused to make sense and, swallowing hard, he tried to form his words into a coherent question but the only thing he could verbalize was a soft, strangled sound that seemed to come from far away.

"But...but, he's..." Dinah's voice broke and, finally regaining enough composure to be able to speak, she pressed the palms of her hands against her eyes as if by doing so, she could force the tears that now streamed unbidden down her cheeks to stop. "You…you're sure? I mean, there's no way…"

"A second opinion! I want you to get someone else in here to give us a second opinion," Ollie demanded, his abrupt outburst cutting off Dinah's words.

There was a moment of silence as the doctor studied the archer sympathetically before speaking in a gentle voice. "We don't come to a decision of this sort lightly. The diagnosis is determined by several doctors working independently of each other--"

"I _said_, I want another opinion," Ollie reiterated firmly, shrugging off Dinah's hand as he leapt to his feet. The archer was only able to stare at the doctor for a moment before breaking the all too-painful eye contact and, turning away to face the door, the distraught man placed his hands on his hips, dropping his head for a moment before running a shaky hand through his hair. "I-I just need to be _sure_."

The doctor watched as Dinah rose and moved toward the archer, "That is your right Mr. Queen. " He said quietly. "Do you have a doctor in mind that you would like us to contact for that second opinion?"

"Ollie…" Dinah reached for him, wrapping her arms around his waist and pressing her tear streaked face into the warm solidity of his chest, needing him as much as she knew he needed her at that moment.

The archer held the woman he loved close, feeling himself cling to her in a desperate attempt to draw on her strength as he spoke to the doctor. "I'll find somebody. I'll…I'll make some calls and let you know when I…" His voice wavered, breaking from a pain driven angry tone to drop to a desperate horrified whisper. "No brain activity... c-can that change? Can he…" It wasn't a question he needed an answer for. The full impact of what the doctor had explained was only just now sinking in. "Oh, God. It... it can't be, Dinah. It just _can't_ be."

There was near silence in the room for a long moment before the doctor rose to his feet and spoke quietly "I'll leave you both to some privacy. If you need to talk, or you need further information I'll be in I.C.U."

"_No_..."

The despair-ridden cry halted the doctor as he began to leave and turned back to Dinah, waiting for her to continue.

"P..please. I want to see him. I…" she pulled away from Ollie just a little. Using all the strength she could find within her to reach a hand up to cup the archer's cheek, waiting until he opened his eyes and looked at her before she continued. "We need to see him to– to say…" she couldn't finish.

She didn't have to as Doctor Weldon nodded with compassionate understanding, "Take all the time you want. "


	4. Chapter 4

Resting his hand on his son's shoulder, Ollie tried to force himself to focus--to listen and push aside the crippling pain and sorrow that threatened to overwhelm him as the doctor quietly and gently explained what tests had led to the horrifying diagnoses his son had been given.

"Do you understand everything I've explained to you?" the doctor asked compassionately. "If you have any questions, no matter what they are, please just ask and I'll answer as best I can."

There was a moment of silence as Ollie gazed down at his sons face. Trying hard not to focus on the bruising that marred his boy's features. "No…." he closed his eyes and swallowed hard. "No, I understand."

"He…he's still so warm and…But…".Dinah choked back a sob as she held Roy's hand. "He's gone. I can feel it…I…" she gave in to the sorrow that forced painful heart wrenching sobs to be ripped from her, turning and burying her face against Ollie's chest as the archer moved to embrace her.

"I know. Pretty bird, I know." He held her close, eyes squeezed tightly shut. Drawing deep breaths in an effort to stay strong and force his own tears away.

"You understand what I'm saying when I tell you there is no brain activity?" the doctor asked quietly.

Ollie's eyes snapped open and his body stiffened as an angry retort formed on his lips. "_I_…" he paused as his eyes settled for a moment on the machines keeping his sons body alive--then his gaze drifted back to Roy's pale face. He drew another deep breath as a heavy feeling of defeat blanketed him, and he sagged. "Yes" he said softly, his voice breaking painfully. "Wha…What happens next?"

"The next decision has to be yours to make Oliver."

Dinah pulled back from the embrace, wiping her eyes as she turned back to the bed--reclaiming the young man's hand in her own. There was a long moment where only the whoosh of the ventilator could be heard before she finally choked out what they both knew to be true. "Ollie…He wouldn't want…." she broke off, unable to say more.

His heart breaking and feeling like his whole world was crashing in on him, Ollie looked back towards the doctor, "We…we need to let him go." he murmured painfully before glancing again at the still body on the bed. He couldn't bring himself to look at Roy's face, focusing instead on the rhythmic movements of his son's chest as the ventilator breathed air into lungs that could no longer function by themselves.

Doctor Weldon nodded gently. "There are some papers you need to sign. When you're ready…"

"Uh…" Ollie forced himself to look away from his son, knowing he needed to do this while he still had the strength to do what was right. "Now. I should sign wha..whatever I have to now."

"Okay…" The doctor looked sadly at his young patient before beginning to turn away. "If you'd like to follow me, we'll organize that." he said as he led the grieving couple towards a small, private room set aside specifically for times such as this.

He opened the door and stood to one side, gesturing to the comfortably padded chairs that sat inside the room. "Have a seat and Tracey will be here with you in a minute."

"Tracey? Who's…." the shrill beep of the doctor being paged interrupted the rest of Ollie's question.

Doctor Weldon stared at his pager and frowned for a moment before looking up. "I'm sorry. Emergency, I have to go. Tracey will only be a moment." he said apologetically as he turned away, quietly closing the door behind himself and leaving Ollie and Dinah alone in their grief.

A short time later there was a soft knock, and the door opened. "Mr Queen? Miss Lance?" A middle aged woman with grey streaked, auburn hair asked--looking sympathetically at the couple as she approached them. "I'm Tracey Fendersten, the Transplant Coordinator for…"

"Sorry. What?" Ollie asked, confused. Watching as the woman pulled up a chair and sat down in front of them.

"First of all I just want to tell you how sorry I am for your loss." she said gently, her eyes sincere as she spoke. She watched sadly as the couple nodded, before continuing in a soft voice." Your son's drivers license and former medical records both show a constant desire to be an organ donor and…."

"What…what are you talking about?" Ollie pinched the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger and squeezed his eyes shut for a moment as he tried to make sense of the woman's words. "

Tracey grew quiet for a moment, suddenly realizing that Roy had obviously never discussed with Ollie what she was now asking. "Your son never spoke with you about his wishes in the event of his death?"

"No. He…we…" Ollie sighed as Dinah squeezed his arm, " We never talked about this sort of thing…" He placed his hand over Dinah's and returned the squeeze, glancing at her for a moment in confusion and sorrow before looking back at Tracey. "We never…What…What wishes?"

Tracey stared sadly into the archers red-rimmed emerald eyes--knowing that what she was about to explain was so much more painful for everyone when the patients wishes had not been disclosed to family members. "Your son had indicated that he had a desire to help others in the event of his death. He had registered as an organ donor through the drivers license program and…."

"What?! _No_--I mean…you want to… No! Absolutely not! What the hell is wrong with you people?! My boy's still alive for crying-out-loud--still got air goin' in his lungs and blood's still flowing in his veins. I haven't even told him goodbye properly yet…and you're talking to me about carving him up and taking out his organs?!" Ollie jumped up from his seat and paced back and forth a couple of times in a tight line before turning to Dinah with an exasperated gesture, "Can you believe this crap Dinah?"

"Ollie…"

"We can refuse this right?" he turned back to Tracey, "_Right_? We can refuse it…I mean, just because it says so on his license doesn't mean we have to accept this."

"No one is going to force you to do anything you don't want to Oliver. We can certainly understand you might need a moment to…"

"Then the answers no. I'm not going to give permission for my son to be…to be cut up…"

Dinah moved quickly to her feet and reached out to Ollie, taking his hand and squeezing it firmly before looking back at Tracey. "Do you mind if we have a moment to think…"

"There's nothing to think about Dinah." Ollie stated, pulling his hand away and beginning to pace once more.

Tracey nodded, and stood. "Of course, I'll be just down the corridor if you need me." she said as she moved towards the door--quietly exiting the room.

There was silence for a moment. Dinah watched the archer as he stood with his back to her--having stopped his agitated pacing--his hands now clenching and unclenching at his side as he stared at the floor. She moved closer and placed a hand on his back, rubbing gently. "Ollie he wanted this.."

"We don't know that Dinah…."

"We _do _know that, Ollie. He obviously thought about it or he wouldn't have agreed to it." she moved to stand in front of him, her heart breaking a little more as she saw the pain he was trying to control. She reached up and placed a hand on his cheek. "Ollie, I…_You've _agreed to this for yourself. Didn't you tell me you wanted to don…"

"That's different Dinah.." the archer snapped, attempting to turn away, but stopping as Dinah caught both his hands up in hers.

"How Ollie? How is it different?"

"I…This isn't me we're talking about. This is _Roy…"_

"Ollie…"

"The Navajo…He's Navajo, don't they have some beliefs….? He…he had this thing about death, something to do with the way they taught him.." the archer frowned, hating the fact that he was feeling as though he was simply grasping at straws--stalling what he knew was the inevitable decision he had to make--but hating the fact that he could not remember ever taking the time to talk to Roy in any truly meaningful way about his sons earlier life, his Navajo upbringing and his beliefs, far more.

"The older ones maybe Ollie--the traditional ones. Many of the young ones understand the importance of organ donation." she paused, swallowing hard as more tears burned her eyes, she couldn't break down now, not when Ollie needed her--not when she needed to make sure Roy's final wish was carried out. "You taught him to help people. He's a hero at heart Ollie, you could see that from the very first moment you met him. Let him help people one last time. He can save more lives…Y..you know he would want this. You kn…know he deserves this." the last words were lost in a sob she couldn't control, and she dropped one of Ollie's hands to brush roughly at the tears that spilled.

"Di…." Ollie's face contorted with a surge of conflicting emotion, he reached out to draw her close, but at the last moment he pushed her away. "Oh god…Pretty Bird….I can't! I just can't!" he cried, spinning on his heel and hurriedly striding out of the room.

Ollie?! Ollie please…"

His heart pounding in his chest--unable to hear Dinah's cry over the sound of the blood roaring in his head--Ollie stormed down the corridor attempting to flee from the emotional turmoil that engulfed him. He couldn't think straight, couldn't breathe and he had no idea where he was going--or how he found himself sometime later standing beside Roy's bed.

He stood silently for a long while, staring at his son's still form--trying desperately to gather his thoughts and gain some control over his emotions. Hesitantly, he reached down to take Roy's hand in his, trembling as he placed his other hand on the young man's forehead. The heavy lump of pain in his heart was almost too much to bare and he squeezed his eyes shut to stop the tears that he still refused to let fall.

"I don't know what to do, son. What do I _do_?" The hoarse whisper escaped before he realized he had even spoken and once those first few desperate words broke free, others followed quickly, easily--as if his son were right there, listening.

"They... well, I'm sure you know what they want to do, since you're a smart boy and you've already figured out that leaving this shitty earth is too good to pass by and... See, son they-- they're telling me that you agreed to this program... this…this organ donation thing, but– " he choked softly and paused for a moment, needing some time to calm down before continuing.

"God help me, I can't... I just _can't _stand the thought of them– for them to– Shit, son, I can't even put into decent words what I'm tryin' to say," Ollie closed his eyes and, taking a deep breath, used whatever strength he had left to pull together the words his heart was wanting him to speak.

"I wish you could just tell me– tell me what to do, son. Please? I--I need you to guide me on this one, cuz I feel like I'm sitting in a rowboat with just one ore, paddlin' around in one big circle," Ollie begged, gently brushing his thumb across Roy's forehead a couple times. "Tell me what you want me to do? Ple–?" His voice broke and the tears he had so far held at bay began to spill down his cheeks. His breath caught in his throat and, no longer able to be strong, was overcome with anguished sobs.

He felt Dinah beside him and didn't resist when she pulled him into an embrace, holding him tight as he buried his face against her neck. It wasn't until then that he was finally able to regain some of the control he had surrendered.

"Okay…Okay…" he choked, still clinging to her. "He…he wanted it. I'll do it. I'll sign whatever permission they need."

_To be continued  
_


	5. Chapter 5

A hot, dry desert breeze ruffled Ollie's hair as he looked out over the landscape his son had once called home. The warmth of the air around him contrasted strongly to the cold numbness that enveloped his entire being, leaving him unable to do more then stare blankly at the desert scenery.

He was exhausted both physically and emotionally. He hadn't been able to sleep for more then a few fitful minutes at a time since he'd made that fateful decision--since he _killed_ his son.

No…not killed, he knew in his heart that wasn't right, but there was so much hurt and anger bottled up inside of him at that moment that all he could do was target those emotions on himself. He hated himself, felt frustrated and angry and didn't know how to ease the empty hole that burned in his chest…most of all he felt so darned guilty for the flashes of anger that frequently rose with crippling intensity, anger directed towards his son for leaving--for forcing him to say goodbye when he wasn't ready and while there was so many things still left unsaid between them. The guilt for those unsaid words, and the rift that he had never been able to heal, hung heavily over him day and night.

So much remorse--so many regrets--so many emotions that he had no idea how to deal with.

Coming here to the reservation only seemed to have made things worse. The rich red desert sands and familiar scenery flooded his mind with memories of the first time he had come to this place - the day he had taken a lost 13 year old boy home with him.

Ollie sighed, and shook his head as if the action would shake away the melancholy that enveloped him. He should never have taken Roy with him all those years before. His son would still be alive today if he hadn't…but he never did think things through, never thought ahead...always dragging others with him into the tangled mess of his life.

"Idiot!"

"Ollie?"

The archer jolted as the voice of one of Roy's closest friends broke into his self-flagellating thoughts. He swallowed hard as Dick Grayson came to a halt beside him. "I thought everyone was headed home after the funeral." He murmured.

Dick stared off into the distance. "Not ready to say goodbye just yet." he whispered brokenly.

Ollie nodded, he knew how that felt.

There was a long period of silence as both men stood quietly, lost in their thoughts and memories.

Eventually, Dick cleared his throat gently, and spoke. "When…When he came to me asking for help to go after Cheshire to get his daughter…."

Ollie turned to look at the younger man, his sudden movement causing Dick to pause. "He asked you to help him get his kid?"

"Uh…" Dick was unsettled by the intensity in the archer's expression. "He didn't tell you?"

"No he never told me. Never even spoke to me about the kid. I found out from Dinah." Ollie tried to swallow an irrational surge of bitterness and drew a deep breath. "He asked you to help?" his voice betrayed the hurt that was burning deep inside.

Dick shifted uncomfortably. "Ollie…"

"He couldn't come to me? Is that what he told you?"

Dick frowned. "No, he never said anything like that. He…."

"I would have helped. I would have been there for him. He should have known that." Ollie stared at the younger man, hurt and angry. "It wasn't all my fault you know? This rift between us…."

Dick shook his head and reached out to place his hand comfortingly on the older archers shoulder. "I'm sure Roy never meant…"

Ollie continued as if Dick hadn't spoken. "I know I did the boy wrong. I'll never stop regretting that. But I tried. I went to him and tried to talk to him about it more then once. He never…" The archer choked, and Dick's hand tightened on his shoulder. "He said he needed time to sort himself out…and later, when I talked to him about it again, he felt there was too much water under the bridge….I _tried_."

"I'm sure you did Ollie." Dick replied gently.

Ollie stiffened, misinterpreting the sadness in Dick's voice for sarcasm. "What d'ya mean by that?"

Dick took a step back as the archer roughly brushed his hand away and stood staring at him, eye's blazing. "Ollie….I'm not meaning anything other then that I'm sure you tried. Roy…he thought the world of you and…"

"And yet he went to you when he needed help to get his kid." Ollie growled, anger masking the hurt. "My granddaughter, or the closest thing I have to one…He went to _you_ and not _me_?"

Dick gritted his teeth and bit back the urge to speak the long harbored thoughts he'd had about the rift that had formed between this man and his best freind. "I can't help what Roy chose to do Oliver. He had his reasons, I'm sure."

Ollie stared at the younger man. "And yet he never went after the kid? You never helped him?"

Dick looked away to cover the flash of pain that flickered over his face. "He was assigned to the mission that..." the acrobats voice broke, he didn't need to explain any further.

Silence hung heavily in the air for what felt like forever before Dick spoke again.

"Will you be going after Cheshire? I'll help in anyway you need me too."

"I don't know what I'll be doing." Ollie snapped, and then his posture, that had radiated tension, suddenly seemed to sag and his voice dropped to a whisper, heavy with pain. "The kid is probably better off with her mother anyway, at least she still has _a_ parent."

Dick stared at the archer, eyes flashing with determination as he spoke. "Roy didn't want that. He made it clear he wanted to have his daughter with him."

"He never made that clear to me." Ollie replied firmly, turning to walk away from the younger man, far too many emotions were bubbling inside of him, mingling into a confused mix of hurt, anger and frustration. He could feel himself ready to explode, and here - in the place his son had called 'home'- he was not about to lose control like that.

Feeling a surge of desperation, Dick followed the archer, this had been important to Roy and that made it equally as important to Dick. "Ollie, he came to see me. He said…"

Ollie spun back to face the acrobat, eyes blazing, "I don't want to know what he said. He's not here to tell me himself. He never bothered to come to me for help when he needed it. _If_ he really wanted his kid he would'a said something to me." He paused, drawing in a deep breath in an effort to calm down. "The kid _has_ a parent. One parent good or bad has to be better then none at all. Roy's gone. He had the opportunity when he was alive to ask for my help, he never did."

Dick shook his head incredulously, "How can you stand there knowing his daughter is out there, and not care that…"

The archer's head snapped up, "Not care? _Not care_?! Is that what you think?" His voice cracked with anger and he felt himself shaking all over as the urge to fight or flee became overwhelming. "Get the hell away from me Grayson, before I do something I may regret. The last thing I need is help from _you!_"

Hands clenched into fists by his side, Dick forced himself to stay put as the archer stalked off. This conversation wasn't over, but now wasn't the time or the place to get into a heated argument. He closed his eyes, concentrating on calming down, and reminded himself that Ollie was hurting just as much as he was.

_TBC_


End file.
